Rape and Outrage

One more rape. And yet more outrage. Newsreaders screaming louder and louder. Social media reeking of anger. Newspapers filling up space. Houses of Parliament spewing rhetoric. The noise, the din, the unbearable torture of a nation that is clueless, helpless and directionless. Yet again. The carnage continues. A nation is caught reeling under one more heinous act. One more brutal display of inequality rears its ugly face upon us.

Rape is despicable. Yes. Rape deserves severe punishment. Yes. But do we need more rallies? Do we need more rhetoric? What about long-term solutions? What about trying to identify the root cause of these atrocities? What about trying to eradicate these?

How about bringing up our boys better? How about teaching them that being macho means being cultured and treating women equally? How about sensitizing men and mobilizing them to ensure gender equality?  How about doing away with regressive traditions, cultural norms and rituals that are blatantly discriminatory to women? How long will we keep a ‘giving’ attitude towards women?

I despair because of the gravity of the crime. But I despair more because of the way our nation reacts. Every cruel action has a jerky response. We ask for the death penalty or something even more severe for the perpetrators. Has severe punishment ever deterred a criminal mind?

We hold rallies, candlelight vigils, hold bombastic placards and strut through the streets in ethnic outfits asking for change. And we resume our lives soon after. Until the next crime.

We are an impatient nation on the lookout for overnight solutions. Result : Nothing is solved. The problems persist. Gender bias, inequality, human rights violations, corruption, discrimination, segregation, cruelty, violence continue to be rampant as we await the rise of messiah after messiah – only to be thoroughly disappointed.

Long-term solutions, positive change can only be possible when we as citizens put our faith, time, resources and energy in initiatives for systemic change.  Solutions are possible only if we change. Eradication of societal evils will happen when we recognize and eradicate our own inner demons, when we become the change.

We expect Narendra Modi to usher in an era of progress while feigning amnesia over his atrocious human rights record. We look upon Rahul Gandhi as a vehicle of change because of his impressive genealogy and cute demeanor. We look for others to bring about transformation while we continue our apathy towards ourselves, our people, our surroundings and our conditions. We will continue tolerating red tape. We will find illegal short-cuts for short-term gains. We will let fascists reign in the name of democracy. We will let our women get raped. We will continue to vote for gangsters. We will continue to follow illogical rituals hoping for instant karmic rewards. We will allow our fundamental rights to be violated. We will suffer in stunned, scared silence. We will fast. We will rally. We will strike. But we will not change.

Sorry, but we have been raped for many generations. And we will continue getting raped for many.  Rape is inevitable as we continue to exist in contempt, disrespect and lethargy.

Until the next rape.

Friends

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anger. Disappointment. Desperation. Envy. Pride. Resentment. Joy. Melancholy. Love. Hate.

Friends. All of them.

Available. Ever present.  They crowd. An abyss. Called the mind.

They occupy. A meaningless chasm. Called life.

Their party. Never ends.

The chaos. The noise. The deafening silence. Never leaves.

They envelope. My existence.

Like. A band. Of hooligans. That I can. Neither ignore. Nor tolerate.

Without them. I am nothing. With them. I am nothing.

Let Her Rest…

She sleeps. Yet she is. Without rest.

She gazes. Into the dark ceiling. The seamless cover. Of black.Lit by a thousand twinkles. Interrupted by. A hazy foreground. A gray lining. Partly covering. Silver stars.

Her mind wanders. She lingers. Over the past. Worries. About now. She thinks. About tomorrow. She wonders. About how. It will unfold.

She knows. Tomorrow. Will be no different. From today. Or yesterday.

The stars will shine. Over her. While she dies. A thousand deaths. Will not end her journey.

A journey. Of colorless infinity. Spotted. With small speckles. Of colorful bursts. Within many. Light years of dark nights. A journey. Of little truth. And many lies.

She will live. Through this. And many other journeys. Sometimes disturbed. Sometimes limping. Mostly numb. Otherwise unhindered.

She will find solace. In the blackness. She will hide. In the seamless. In the distant. In the near. In the cries. In the tears. In the whispers. In the torment. In the hidden. In the laughter. In the mystery. Of a naked night. Like million. Other nights.

She will survive. While I die. A million deaths. While I seek. Countless desires. Impossible dreams. While I lust. For life. With her.

She will just. Survive.

Survival. Is not. A sin. It is not. Defeat.

Survival. Is. An instinct. Driven by necessity. Emerging. Out of darkness. In the hope. Of a brighter. Morning. In the hope. That every little speck of brightness. Illuminates. Her soul. Like. A million suns.

I am. Entangled. Intertwined. Bound. Within your bounds. I live. Your dreams. I feel. Your darkness. I see. The brightness. In the little sparkles. Like you.

Come my beloved. Embrace me. Forgive me. For I have. Caused this darkness. Upon you. I have slit. Your belly. I have entered. You. I have. Violated. You. Until. You accepted. My attack. As you did. Darkness. You embraced me. Without complaint.

Upon you. I spit. I shit. I fuck. I fornicate. I procrastinate. I create. I destroy. I multiply. While you tolerate. While you endure. While you remain. Constant.

I want you to know. Today. Now. I attacked you. Because I felt. I had to. To survive. But. The truth is. I am you. You are me. We live. We exist. We dream. We survive.Together.

I am your spirit. And like you. I will never perish. Yet. Abuse. I will. Not out of hate. Or disrespect. Just. Out of habit. Terrible. Human. Habit.

Let us. End this duel. Of day. And night. Of love. And hate. Of laughter. And tears.

Let us. Cuddle up. Curl. Into each others arms. Let us. Share the warmth. Let us smell. The toil. And make love. While we await. Another dawn.

One More Night in The City

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Red. Blue. Green. Cyan. Magenta. Yellow. Blink. Blink.

The night. Lives on. As she does. Sparkling above. Vulgar below.

Colors of torment. Of unrest. Fill her firmament.

They merge. Into the night. One more night. Sleepless. Restless. Endless. Seamless.

She ends. While I do not. She stops. I do not. I am enveloped. In my own darkness. In the smell. Of my sweat. Inflicted by her. Just like. The wounds. I have. Inflicted. On her.

She reminds me. That life. Does not end. That life. Is passed on. That pain. Is life. Like pleasure. Is an illusion. Created. By life.

She tells me. That I seek an illusion. While I ignore the truth. I am blinded. By small particles. Of light. While I ignore. The darkness. Without which. They would never. Shine.

We are inseparable. Light and dark. Night and day. Love and hate. Pleasure and sorrow. Life and death.

Come. Into my arms. I want to hold you. Never. To leave you. Together. We will. Dance in the rain. Get drenched. In the heat. Together. We will toil. For a tomorrow. That we will never see.

Something called a relationship…

So many lives. In one life. So many deaths.
Relationships are such. They mirror life. They resemble death. They create. They destroy. They consume. They get consumed.
They are warm. They are cold. They are beautiful. They are old. They are ugly. They unfold. They never leave.
They come back. They remain. A reminder. Of life. A harbinger. Of death.

I propose. A relationship. Outside ours. To keep us. Together. Unconditionally. Unattached. Unbound. Unchained.
To fulfil. Something unfulfilled. To discover. Each other. Once again.

Mundane

Man. Wife. Two sons. One daughter. A tata car. Packets of masala wafers. Immersed. In meaningless. Group activities. In pointless. Logistics. Clicking away. Creating memories. Unable. To savor. To enjoy. To reflect. To meditate. A facade. Of happiness. A picture. Of togetherness. Makes me. Suffocate. I hope. They leave. A selfish thought. I hate. Being reminded. Of the mundane. Yet. It stares. At me. In the face. Leave. Before. I throw up.

Stranger

Somebody. Who meets a stranger. In his room. For the first time. Kisses him. Lets him. Feel her. Just the lure. Of the forbidden. Of rebellion. An expression. Of disdain. Of boredom. An act. Of impulse. Of lust. Without regard. For the past. Without respect. For commitment. Just another moment. In a life. Where. Every new moment. Erases old moments. Where. Every act of lust. Endangers love. A life. In which. A great future. Is a thing. Of the past.

Getting Stoned

Stoned last night. Saw clearly. Smiled honestly. Laughed openly. Dissipated anger. Accumulated bitterness. Unadulterated lust. Unbridled love. Unconditional existence. All there. In the clouds. Shining through the stars. Emanating from the flowers. Rustling through the trees. Then I wake up. With a headache. With little recollection. With half a smile. From a dreamless night. Awaiting the next joint. Craving the next fix. Seeking an altered reality. Wanting to get stoned.

Is It Worth The Pain?

There is pain. In my heart. It happens. Every time. I embark. Upon this path. A path. That is agonizing. Yet full. Of ecstasy. My breathing. Gets hurried. My mind. Searches an answer. To a riddle. A riddle. That I call. A story. My heart. Seeks salvation. In a temporary moment. Called creation. I also question. My anxiety. And wonder. Is it worth the pain? I have no answer. Except. My restlessness. Self imposed. Self inflicted. Painful pleasure. I feel privileged. Yet pressured. I ask. Why do I have to be different? Why do I have to persist? Yet I persist. Into an unknown quest. I attempt. A conquest. Of my own demons. I am thankful. And resentful. That I guess. Is life.

Twilight

Last night. I saw you. Old. Ethereal. Beautiful. Glowing. The future. Was. Exactly. As I envisaged. You. Me. Laughing. Crying. Bickering. Sulking. Always wanting. To stay away. Yet. Never a moment. Not together. The elusive. Road trip. Like our life together. An endless drive. Through every terrain. We arrive. Slightly scathed. But refreshed. Each time. Always ready. To repair. To start afresh. Many journeys. Many vehicles. The same passengers. With knowledge. Experience. Yet amazement. At the discovery. Of new horizons. Within each other. Exploring. Our hidden paths. Many truths. Lesser lies. Our inner desires. Our journey. Will continue. Forever. Together.

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